The Evolution of Negotiations - Week 2 post

As I was doing the readings this week, specifically feminine speech vs. masculine speech, I couldn’t help but reflect back on some of the negotiation trainings I have been through. There are 3 that stand out in my mind where I thought the principle messages could be classified as being consistent with either feminine speech or masculine speech. All of these courses were developed and delivered by some very credible authors, even though I do not remember them all I remember some of the more recent ones. I will take you through them chronologically and perhaps you will also see the same evolution I have.

The first course I took was called “Negotiate to Win”, which I took mid 90’s or so. You may not need much of an explanation from me on what type of speech this is based on the title. I still have the mug somewhere but the 10 key points have long since worn off. From what I remember though, some of the key thoughts were never give something without getting something in return, splitting the difference is never an acceptable compromise and withhold any information which may give your counterpart an advantage.

The second one I remember was called “Creating and Claiming value in Negotiations.” I took this in 2003. The key takeaway from this course was the further exploration of the term win-win in negotiations. So the objective at a high level was to reach preliminary agreement then identify opportunities to increase the overall value of the deal for both parties, but also to increase the value to you more so than your counterpart. Another key take away from this course was game theory, developing strategies to understand the rules and boundaries of negotiation so that you can become a game master. This course was developed and delivered by a professor from the Harvard School of Business.

The third course that stood out was called “High Performance Negotiation Skills” and I took this in 2006. The content of this course was developed and delivered by a Professor from the Kellogg School of Management. This course incorporated many of the concepts from the previous courses but added a layer of skills on top of them. Some of the key topics included building trust and relationships, navigating the tension between cooperation and competition and improving your creative thinking. (I still have the book, The Mind and Heart of the Negotiator, Leigh L. Thompson). What I learned from this is that if you express a genuine concern for understanding your counterpart’s point of view they will be more open to considering yours as well. That’s when you start building trust and moving from competitive to truly cooperative communications.

I utilize many of the techniques I have learned from all of these courses today. I find them to be equally effective regardless of gender. They are also equally effective in business and social situations.

Does anyone see the same evolution I did?